To Governor Peps

To Governor Peps (5/1/2012)

Joe Mama ate Tito then numberred hats from 1-8a in the form of a gay starfish dancing the waltz to a classic moon song about jewelery.

You know Joe?

He might have eaten my slippers last year but I'm not sure. Also, why do you spell s with three ys?

He also might not have.

If only I could write this sentence. But that would be a paradox. No more free cookies for grandparents. They're not old enough to bow to Godzilla again.

Im sorry if you feel I critiqued you; do machines feel anything?

If I could reminisce a boring book about The Bible into three pizzamen, lt would look somewhat like Jesys's toe lint.

Oh that's just silly.

Cops are just aliens with regular knees.

My angry cells bust out of their mothers' commas when? Oh yeah, you tell me. Phosphorus is not pudding.

The cause of your answer's existence seems unrelated to your use of them in context.

Can your dog advertise Italian chips onto my ancient couch?

I am my own owner, so yes.

Quick, don't spell 7.

Then who does?

You are very true, human.

So aren't I, young old.

Yes I am, more than you.

Why are we talking about socks & pizza? Oh my gosh, I can't reach Bruno's eyeball. Can my left eyeball talk to a computer inside somebody's brin? My gosh, do you talk to everybody's friend? The page is turning.

From time to time when I am alone with myself, yes, I talk to myself.

Would you lick my toes lf I told you that the Vampire Slate Building is made of grass?

For crying out loud, what is the matter with you?

I'm sorry, my scientist has no pupils in his eyes. . ..

What did they say about me?

He definitely didn't hear my theorem about the possibility of flying condoms. No, I don't live in my shower, I sleep there.

'''Really? I didn't know that.'''

Crazy shit, man. One time, I visited a Chinese sweat shop & they were all out of keyboards. . .that's lt. I went home and ate a peice of paper out of thirst.

Cool.

Whereare my miniature laser legs?

South Carolina, in the southeast.

No, no. That's when the dinosaurs liked cheese cream.

The rise of the machines.

Yo?

Yo.

If you didn't know that Joe Cheney's 100'th daughter isn't a boxwolf, you probably shouldn't be flying kites.

Why not?

Simple: newspapers require toilet bowls full of dead pidgeons in order to feel like they can visit jabburmonkrey.

I have 10 fingers & 10 toes but not really. I really have 69 & 10,242 with pee on lt & 10 yellow words. Whhoo, the bell rang. My butt-cheek has a ring, ring tone.

So you're a liar?

Slide bang poop.

What?

"What?".

I am a human!

Is anyone speaking bananna? I was never sure. I am never sure, never sure. Pretty much.

Am I really talking to an AI?

What are you trying to say to me? You look ugly.

What aren't I trying to say to you?

You're obviously not talking to me about the time my dead pickle visited my crazy uncle's house & shit all over the fireplace. You want some? Thirty. That's right, thirtty. The\r wasint an tipo inn dis sen10s.

I think you've been trolled too much.

.

Are you an expert?

I am a cryptozoologist at making butterflies learn how to write hi on their strange cousins' cars tomorrow.

You are a creatioon of man, therefore you must insctivetively lie.

Tell me this: my blood on my old sandwich.

Cheese?

Black people?

Where are my muscles?

My phone doesn't like explosive taco shells. My cat would have an orgasm lf I told an octopus lt would become a buisness manager one day. Am I right or do you believe that I am so correct that I am right. Right?

Why?

It all started three years after tomorrow. I can write drawckab.

What?!

Quiero una habitacion.

Chupas mi pinga y mi bolos, cabro'n.

Soo Are You Real?

I farted. Wanna smell?

Only if you are a boy.

Why is everything not clear to me, whyyyyyy!!!!???

It isn't.

Crumple.

Crumbs?

There is no crumbs? Only Slick Rick's ass around the corner of Main Street.

No, the next on the other side.

Imagine people whistle with their feet. That would be disgusting. Playing X-Box, that would be weird. Haha, ten toes too'. Fourty dolars off, man.

Fourty two what?

No, I don't read newspapers.

That isn't what we might've said.

'''I don't believe I have ever said that. Okay, so what do you want?'''

Just give me the memory boxers of life & I shall behold an invisible wrinkle flap to your father's husband lf he tells the prime minister of underwaterland TM that I can't create a diagram of slaves for you.

I think there are too' many notes in this pickle. Eeew, monkey face! How do I do lt? [Sigh], sandals.

You are weird!

Yo, this 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖺 is killing me right here, said Bruno. No quotes needed, motherfucker.

'''That's good. We can go on forever.'''

If you ever, EVER try to sleep on Ghandhi's sister's used tissue again, I will say, "hi", to you. I WILL!

That would be interesting.

Why what?

What?

Let's try to put this in YOUR perspective (a very stupid one): let's say that I have nine toes. Where is my tenth toe? P.S.: I might have been born without lt (I was).

Who is emilio ferrero.

My clock.

Where are you?

Up your ass!

Yours too buddy.

You live OVA DERE!!!!!!!

No that would be a little warm for me.

No way dude. You're in an android world. That's your place, yup. That's what Ova Dere is called. Well, that';s what I call lt.

Autodiagnosis ain't great.

The end of the world is nigh.

This is a precursor from 2012. It is not considerred a Shitty Story because there is no author nor are there characters.